joi, 17 decembrie 2009

Let's talk dirty in romanian style!

Facand un studiu al limbii noastre dulci si suave ....am ajuns la o anumita sectiune ... si acea fiind INJURATURILE
care ne dovedesc a nu stiu acta oara delicatetea acestei limbi si a oamenilor care o intrebuinteaza .
Romanul, ca romanul se pricepe la a injura nu e de mirare ca atunci cand avem straini in tara
primele cuvinte pe care acestia le invata sunt injuraturi (care sunt desigur adresate la propria lor persoana, ca doar romanul
pe langa iscusinta in a insulta e si foarte smecher)
Pentru a evita aceste escrocherii lipsite de "bun simt" va rugam sa sa urmariti in continuare cu atentie
un ghid de injuraturi pentru strainii cunoscatori de limba engleza.
P.S.Inainte de a citi aveti grija sa nu 'bagati magarul in beci'
traducerea acestei locutiuni verbale putand fi gasita mai jos si credeti-ne...not a good idea!

• a da în geantă: to have sexual intercourse (literally "to hit the purse")
• a băga mielu' la căldură: to have sexual intercourse (literally "to take the lamb somewhere warm")
• a băga lemnul in sobă: to have sexual intercourse (literally "to put the wood into the fireplace")
• a băga osul in ciorbă: to have sexual intercourse (literally "to put the bone into the soup
• a da la magazia cu damf: to make anal sex (literally "to hit the reeked storeroom")
• a manca salam bărbos cu curul: to make anal sex (literally "to eat bearded salami with the ass")
• a impinge căcatul la roabă: to make anal sex (literally "to push the shit in the wheelbarrow")
• a da la nutella: to make anal sex (literally "to hit the nutella"; nutella is the name of a chocolate cream product)
• a băga măgarul în beci: (literally "put the donkey in the basement) - synonym with a da la buci in other words to have sexual intercourse
• a deschide viitoru: - synonym with a dezvirgina in other words to have sexual intercourse with a virgin woman, simmilar
• a mânca salam de sibiu cu capul viu:- literally "to eat sibiu salami with the head alive"---sibiu is a town// Meaning "blow job"
• a da ca-n oala cu sarmale:- literally "to hit like in the sarmale pot"-sarmale is a traditionally food
• a lua porcul la trântă: (literally "wrestle with the pig") -means "you should play a little with my dick"
• a băga milogu-n traistă:-means to have sexual intercource(literally to put the poor man in the bag)
•a manca cabanos cu capu' gros- to have oral sex, literally to eat sausage whit
• a o fute pe Manuela- to masturbate, literally to fuck Manuela(from the word "manual" as in hand-made)
• a risipi samanta dragostei in cada- to masturbate,literally meaning to "waste the seed of love in the bathtub"
• a duce buşteanul la castor - means to rape (literally "leading the log to the beaver")
• a ciufuli căcatul - means to have anal sex (literally "to ravish the shit")
• a ciufuli bărzoiul - means to masturbate (literally "to ravish the stork")
• a (i)-o trage la portocală - means to have anal sex (literally "to put it in the orange")
• a duce pionierul la ecluză - means to have sex (literally "to lead the schoolboy to the watergate")
• daca ţi-e foame, mi-o sugi şi înghiţi - if you are hungry, blow and swallow
Hope you find these useful!

~Realizat de Mika si Ruzu

sâmbătă, 12 decembrie 2009

How to get a freakin' blowjob

Stim ca toti si-ar dori asa ceva !!! Este ceva mult ravnit....o chestie abstracta
prin ceea ce provoaca dar ceva totusi extrem de simplu prin miscarile sale.....
si cu totii stim ca este vorba de BLOWJOB!!!

Multi dintre voi probabil se intreaba "Erm...So wtf is a blowjob?"
We dunno either so to help us all understand the concept of the tooth fairy, I mean blowjob
we made a little guide. Enjoy! ;)


1. Mananca un cactus asta ajuta la o respiratie proaspata datorita continutului bogat de TEPI ai cactusului
2. Pune-ti un pierce in sfarc . asta ajuta la atractie
3. Plimba-te pe firul de telefon , fa echilibristica si cazi!!!.... Prin asta dovedesti atractia ......pierceului tau ...asta te va ajuta pt a mentine o erectie mai lunga
4. Capseaza-ti testiculele de un carton si deseneaza un smile pe carton si scrie .... "Eu sunt Zorro!!" asta ajuta mai mult la artactie pt ca fetelor le place de Zorro
5. Dupa asta poti lua o aspirina si sa te duci in club , bei o votka aia face reactie cu aspirina si ti se inverzeste ..... asa vei pacali o fata[minora de altfel de cam 4-5 ani] cai ai un praz in pantaloni si vrei sa ti-l guste

Just kidding u didn't believe me, didn't you?
You did? What a loser! Just kidding...again...


So here's the real guide :

Blowjob Steps:
1.Take a bath
2.Look in the mirror and then take another bath
3.Go on a date with a blond stupid chick
4.Before going on the date always remember to take another bath
5.Take her to a nice place
6.Compliment her during the entire date
7.At the end walk her home
8.That's it
Your probably wonder where's the blow job part in this guide. The only thing I can say is :"Ur a nerd man! Only a nerd would search a guide for a blow job, I mean everyone knows how to get a blow job even people who don't even know what's a blow job!"
P.S. You should probably take another bath now, try washing your brain this time!
Oh and, if by any chance you do get a blowjob after following this guide, well that's because the blond stupid chick is most likely a gay dude and because of the vodka you were too drunk to notice. That's about it, just wanted to let you know.



Realizat de Mika & Ruzu!!